Domestic Violence Cycle

If you are in immediate danger, call 911, your local domestic violence program hotline, or the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence - 1-800-799-7233. For resources in Tennessee, call - 1-800-356-6767.

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Domestic violence follows a common pattern of violence or cycle. Domestic violence often escalates from threats and verbal abuse to physical violence and often murder.

Domestic Violence - Cycle of Violence

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Domestic Violence Stage-Violent Behavior - This is the only way the abuser knows to show the victim that he is the boss, so he lashes out with aggressive or violent actions.

Domestic Violence Stage-Guilt - At this point the abuser has a feeling of guilt, not for what he's done, but over the possibility of getting caught.

Domestic Violence Stage-Excuses/Blame - At this point the abuser will try to come up with anything to place the blame for his violent behavior on anyone other than himself. He may blame the victim or come up with other excuses.

Domestic Violence Stage-Calm - At this point the abuser will turn on his charm to regain control over the victim. This is a dangerous point for the victim, because she may feel that he has really changed.

Domestic Violence Stage-Planning - At this point the abuser starts thinking about abusing his victim again. He will think of things she's done wrong and how he'll make her pay.

Domestic Violence Stage-Setting-Up Victim - At this point the abuser will create a situation where his violence is justified. The victim may have gotten delayed in traffic coming home from Wal-Mart. The abuser accuses her of having an affair and he has just "set-up" the victim.

This cycle of domestic violence will repeat itself over and over again. Often, as time goes on, the "Calm" stage of the cycle just disappears.

It is important to understand that each stage of this cycle can last for a different amount of time in a relationship. The total cycle can take a very short time or a long time to complete and not all domestic violence relationships fit this cycle.

Life's New Beginnings is a non-profit organization established for the sole purpose of increasing public awareness of Domestic Violence and how it affects all of us.

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642,000 (22%) Tennessee Women Have Domestic Violence Related Injuries!

This web site was designed for the sole purpose of providing information on the subject of domestic violence. The web site was neither intended to provide professional advice on the subject of domestic violence nor should information contained herein be used in making personal decisions in your own particular situation (other than the decision to get help). There are many complex issues surrounding domestic violence which should only be addressed by professionals who are trained in this area. You are the only one who can get help in your situation. There are those who care about you and are concerned for your safety, but their non-professional involvement could possibly make your circumstances worse. Never let anyone talk you into doing anything that isn't right for you.

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