Every

9 Seconds

A Woman Suffers

From Domestic Violence!

 

Domestic Violence Help

In Tennessee CIties

Domestic Violence - One Woman's Story (Page 2)

Domestic violence can begin as verbal abuse and then escalate into physical violence.

Here is one woman's story of how happiness and hope turned into a nightmare, but fortunately she is a domestic violence survivor.

Source:  "The Impact Of Domestic Violence On The Tennessee Economy", A Report to the Tennessee General Assembly, presented by Tennessee Econonic Council on Women, Nashville, TN. - January, 2006

ONE WOMAN’S STORY (Cont'd)

Bill got a job working nights so we saw less and less of each other. The breaking point for me came
one night when he was playing softball before work. He was driving a truck with standard transmission, which he knew I couldn’t drive. Because we were running late after the game, he told me that I’d have to drive myself home after the game. I told him I couldn’t, that I didn’t know how to drive the car. He started yelling at me and then he grabbed me by the hair and was dragging me into the driver’s seat. I was crying hysterically. He stopped, waited for me to get back in the truck and then sped off toward home. When he dropped me off at home, I knew that I had to get out or be killed.

Getting out of an abusive relationship requires planning because the abuser wants to control your life.
I took a second job and told Bill it was volunteer work so I could save every dime I made. As the
holidays approached, I began hinting that I’d like to go home, to see my parents. He thought it over
and finally said, “If you miss them so much why don’t you go visit them over the holidays for a few
weeks? I won’t mind a bit.” I suspected that he was having an affair and having me out of the way for
a few weeks was convenient. I don’t think he ever considered that I wouldn’t be coming back.

I rented a trailer and began, carefully, to pack everything I wanted to keep, including dishes and household items. When he saw what I was packing, he said, “You are sure taking a lot with you for a few weeks.” I was careful not to comment.

I gave my notice at work and said good-bye to the few friends I’d met. I waited until the very last
minute to tell my closest friend, fearing that she wouldn’t understand. “Thank God,” she responded.
She, like so many other people, had known something was very wrong between me and my husband.
She and I had a great time on that last evening together.

When I returned home, however, things weren’t so great. Bill was waiting, irate that I’d gone to my
friend’s house. He pinned me down on the bed for three hours demanding that I tell him what I told
her. I tried to explain that I simply wanted to say good-bye before going to my parents’ for the holiday.
He didn’t believe me. I was terrified and, at times, could barely breathe because he had his full
weight on me. Out of desperation, I asked him what his father would think of him, knowing that he
was hurting me and holding me against my will. I knew that a reference to his father would get his
attention. To my relief, he got off of me and I ran to the spare bedroom and locked the door. I was
certain he would kill me. He tried to get in the room with me but I wouldn’t let him, staying there all
night. By morning, he’d left for work and I, too, went to work. When I returned home, everything I
had was packed and stacked outside. He told me my stuff took up too much room in the house so he’d moved it. As badly as I wanted to leave, I had no choice but to wait for my father, who was coming to take me home for the holidays.

As soon as my father arrived, we were gone. I had $260.00 to my name, a car payment, and everything I owned in a small trailer. I thought we were safely on the way when I noticed Bill chasing us on the highway. When we pulled over, he told me that I’d taken the answering machine and he needed it.

We were divorced a short time later. He tried to contact me several times but I wasn’t interested. Several years later, he called to tell me he was in a 12 Step program and wanted to apologize. I listened and thanked him for his apology. That was the last time I talked to him.

I am a survivor and a lucky one. The abuse I suffered was emotional, physical and verbal. Sometimes I would think I was losing my mind and I was at fault for everything. When the physical abuse started I was terrified. I know if I had stayed in that relationship I would be dead.

I have now come full circle. I am a successful professional with a wonderful husband who is my
partner in life, my gift from God, my soul mate. I was able to triumph with the help of my friends,
family and my faith. A friend once shared with me, “Life is like a coin. You can spend it any way you
want but you can only spend it once.” As I close my story, I encourage anyone reading this to seek
help if you are in crisis. You have a purpose on this earth and you need to fulfill it. You are important,
you are worthy, you are unique with many talents and you are of great value. One day, your story may help someone else.